Kaydra's Journey
It’s been six years since the day that changed my life. Before the age of sixteen, all I knew was darkness, fear, and the harsh cold that shadowed every winter that passed with no utilities to keep us warm. Today I stand strong and proud to say that I not only survived those unfortunate times, but I thrived and created a life for myself that will never feel such pain again. My name is Kaydra Nicole Sutherland and this is my story of how I grew from a homeless foster child into a successful young woman.
Every time I sit down to tell or write about my story I always pause. It is nearly impossible for me to describe the feeling of pitting hunger I would have every time my parents decided that food wasn’t an important use of the little money we had, or the fear of the dark I developed from the countless pitch black nights when we didn’t have power. To re-experience the unending cold that used to surround my body on winter nights when there was no heat in the house always puts a shiver down my spine. Not knowing where I would end up as my family lost every home we entered until cold, dark, concrete floors were all we had, still makes my mind foggy and my heart hurt. It is hard to see the disbelief in people’s eyes as I explain that I am now a junior in college when I never attended school until the age of sixteen after I was taken from my parents. These are the truths that most people either don’t know, or have trouble hearing. I have the hardest time figuring out how to explain.
At the age of sixteen I was ripped from that life of pain. I was taken into the hands of The Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) where I took my life into my own hands. Though I had never been to school before, I began going to high school. I worked countless hours over those three years to catch up academically. I worked mornings, during lunch, and after school getting the help I needed to succeed. I endured countless bullies because I was different, but none of them could compare to the pain I had already experienced in my life.
During this time I also maintained a steady job, and helped my four younger siblings as they moved from home to home to find the best family they could have. As is the norm in the foster care system, many foster parents were either abusive or unable to properly take care of my siblings. I would find myself in a similar state. I journeyed from placement to placement in hopes of finding someone who wouldn’t put me out the second the honeymoon was over. I also searched for a DCFS caseworker who would care and fight for me and my siblings. Luckily, after a year of searching, I found both.
I encountered dozens of caseworkers during my time in care. It even got to a point where I was meeting a new one every two weeks. It would always be the same deal. They would try to learn about my life, but leave two weeks later, never to be heard from again. One told my younger siblings to expect me to run away and abandon them, even though that was the furthest from my intentions. One knowingly put my younger siblings in an abusive home because she, “didn’t want to do the work” to change things. In many ways, the system failed myself and my siblings. It wasn’t until I met a new case worker that I had hope. This case worker would go to bat for me and my siblings for two years. She gave me hope that if you look hard enough, you will find a few good people in a system of carelessness.
It took a loving English teacher and her wonderful husband for me to finally find what I would call home. My foster home was abusive and I had little time to prepare before I was going to be sent to a group home. I feared the future that was made up for me. I fought so hard for success and I worried I would not find it in a group home alone. My English teacher and I had a wonderful relationship, but even I didn’t know that I would soon call her my mother and gain a second chance at a loving family. With a good mother, a caring father, and two wonderful brothers, I would learn so much about what family truly meant and what unconditional love really looked like. Once I entered their home, I never left.
It was through their care and guidance, and my stubborn need to make something more of my life, that I graduated high school with a 3.5GPA and attended Northern Illinois University, earning a spot in their nursing program. I worked hard for three years in college. I went to Spain for six months to pursue my love for Spanish culture and language. I worked harder than most any other student, with years of school under their belt, had to work. I finished my second semester of official clinicals and nursing classes with a 3.4GPA and obtained a job as a Research Assistant and as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) for Visiting Angels.
For the longest time, I was a just definition to most people. I was the foster kid who would never amount to anything because “only 3% of foster youth graduate from college.” I proved the system wrong. I worked everyday and now my life is exactly what I always dreamed it would be. I will continue to thrive and fight for the life I know I deserve. I know I have a long, hard road ahead of me, but isn’t the journey what makes it fun?